


Lost Boy.

by Small_Town_Wayward_Daughter



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Angst, Cancer, F/M, Sad, Surgery, hopefully a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-07-22 01:32:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7413226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Small_Town_Wayward_Daughter/pseuds/Small_Town_Wayward_Daughter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are a friend of Juice's and he tells you he has feelings for you. Life gets in the way and leaves you with a hard decision to make all alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that you like this one! and Thank you for reading!! <3

"Juan Carlos Ortiz! Put me down right fucking now!" I screeched at my best friend and room mate. He had me over his shoulder and was spinning me around in circles. "I'll hurl on you Juice! Please!" He stopped and set me on my feet. I went to take a step and ended up on the ground. "You're an asshole, and to think I was gonna say that I missed you." He had taken off on a run with the Sons of Anarchy motorcycle club and left me all alone for a week.   
"I missed you too sweetheart. How was it?" He knew that I had my finals last week and that I was stressed about them.  
"Fine I guess." I shrugged and grimaced  
"You look like shit, did you sleep at all?" I gave him a bitch face as I stood up and he gave me one back.   
"I was gonna sleep but I knew that I could study more Juicy. I was anxious all week."  
"Ok, well now we're gonna go home and you're gonna sleep." I shook my head and he nodded and went to talk to Jax and Tig. I crept up behind Chibs and jumped on him.  
"Chibby! I missed you!" He laughed as I kissed him cheek.  
"Missed you too love. Did you finish your tests?"  
"Yes I got done yesterday." He nodded and I climbed off of him. I heard someone call my name and I looked over at Clay. Juice looked pissed but just nodded at me to come over. I walked up and felt apprehensive, Clay usually ignored me and I liked it that way. "Uh hi Clay."   
"Hi , I noticed that you spend a lot of time here and asked Juice if he wanted you to be here in a more _personal_ way. " I must've looked confused because he elaborated. "Be a crow eater F/N."   
" _Oh_ Um Clay I'm always happy to help the club but I don't really want to in the ball gargling kind of way..." I trailed off and rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly, Juice grinned and Clay just nodded.   
"Just thought I'd offer you the change F/N Gemma loves having you around and maybe one of these idiots would like you as an old lady." He looked at Jax and I grimaced. Gemma had been trying to hook me up with Jax for as long as I can remember.  
"Ah, ha um that is something to think on, but I'm not really crow eater material. Uh Juice didn't you wanna get home?" My eyes begged him 'Fucking say yes please!'   
"Oh right, I'm gonna take off Clay I have my cell though." hey said their goodbyes and I waited for him by his bike. "How'd you get here?"   
"I walked, our place isn't that far." He sighed and I knew he was gonna yell at me when we got home so I just leaned forward and kissed his cheek before he started his bike. "Don't be mad at me Juicy. I was terrible at being an adult this week but I'll be better starting right now." He laughed and nodded as we headed for home.  
  
  
Juice had been acting strange since Clay had asked me to be a crow eater and I was at my limit, it had been two weeks and he had been avoiding me, he didn't want me at the club house and he seemed like I was inconveniencing him when I spoke to him. I had to come talk to him though because I was going to the health food store and I knew he needed stuff from there. I knew that he was going to fiend indifference and treat me like a pest so I tried to keep myself numb to it.   
"Uh Juice?" He looked up at me and sighed.   
"Yeah?" Yep indifferent. Sigh  
"I'm going to the health food store, what did you need from there?" He gave me a long look before he looked back at the car he was fixing.  
"I'll get my stuff later." I sighed   
"Fine. I-I guess I'll see you later then." I turned and walked out of the garage and bumped into Chibs.  
"Hey darlin' whats wrong?" I just looked up at him and shook my head.   
"I don't know what I did." I felt my voice break and I walked away from him. I went shopping and then went out drinking with a friend of mine from work. She didn't ask why I wanted to go out she just agreed and helped me get totally fucked up. I called a cab and had it drop me off at home at around 2 in the morning. I tried to be quiet but Juice was awake so it didn't matter.   
"Where have you been?" I looked at him and frowned.   
"Out." I went to walk down the hall and stumbled. Damn flat floor trying to fuckin trip me up.   
"Jesus are you drunk?" I shrugged and held on to the wall as I walked.  
"I can be drunk if I want to be Juice, why do you even care?" I yelled at him and he took a step away from me.  
"I don't care, I just-"  
"Clearly you don't care." I told him in a cold tone.   
"What the hell does that mean?" I sighed and shook my head  
"Nothing Juice, I'm going to bed, I don't wanna have this talk right now." I slipped over the rug and almost fell on my face but he caught me and held me up.   
"Let me help you." He said softly and I just started to cry because I _missed_ this side of him. "Baby? What's wrong? Why are you crying?"  
"Why are you mad at me Juice? What did I do to make you hate me?" He looked confused.   
"I don't hate you." I scoffed and shook my head at him in an 'I don't believe you' kind of way. "I-I just thought that if I didn't spend so much time with you Jax could get with you."  
"Jax? Ew. I-I mean- No, I don't see Jax like that at all." He just looked at me  
"Clay said that you told Gemma-"  
"Oh dear lord." I slurred. "Gemma wants me with Jax not me. I love-" I stopped and shook my head again. "Not Jax." I finished and he leaned me against the wall. "I never told Gemma anything like that and Clay needs to mind his own business. Why have you been acting like an asshole to me these last few weeks?"  
"You don't want Jax?" I shook my head and he seemed to be thinking about something. "I was jealous when Clay asked you to be a crow eater and I didn't know why. You are my friend and any of those guys would take great care of you, so why didn't I want them to be near you, to make you laugh or to ask you out? I thought of you and Jax together and I felt this burn in my gut. It made no sense to me until I realized what it was, I was possessive of you, _I want you for myself_." I looked up at him and smiled.   
"Took you long enough." He laughed and nodded at me before he helped me to my room.  
"Lets get you some water and aspirins sweetheart, you're gonna feel like shit tomorrow." He called as he went into the bathroom.  
"Yeah, but you'll take care of me like I take care of you." He nodded and handed me the cup and pills.  
"I'll always take care of you babe." I smiled and fell asleep as he kissed the top of my head.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up feeling a little gritty with a small headache but nothing like I should have and then I remembered. Juice! He liked me! He gave me water and aspirins and had been nice to me! Ugh to much happy thinking, I shuffled out of bed, grabbed some clothes and shuffled to the shower. I got dressed in a tank top and some shorts since I knew I wasn't leaving the house today. I didn't have work and I did my running yesterday so it was cleaning day. I knew that Juice was still asleep when I was done because it was still quiet, he turned on the tv or had music playing in the back round no matter what he was doing. I crept past his door to the kitchen to make coffee and his protein concoction that smelled lit weird oats and vomit. He hated that description but secretly I think he agreed. I was bent over looking for a frying pan in the cabinet under the counter when I heard Juice,  
"Oh, uh hey." I jumped and banged the back of my head on the counter  
"Ow shit. Uh hi." I felt my face turn red and held the back of my head as I whipped around to look at him. He was in basketball shorts and he didn't have boxers on because they weren't peeking out of the top. _yummy_.   
"Are you ok?" I nodded frantically even though I think my head was gonna fall off.   
"Yeah, I-I'm good" I told him in an unconvincing high pitch voice. He looked doubtful so I changed the subject. "Um I made your protein thing." I pointed at the fridge and his eyebrows raised.   
"Oh, thanks ba-bea-F/N." I just nodded and went back to looking for the frying pan. Jesus since when did I get nervous around him? _Since last night dummy._ I stood up and saw Juice staring at my ass with his head turned to the side.   
"See something you like stud?" I said in a flirty tone and he jumped like he'd been scalded   
"Uh um maybe?" He smiled sheepishly and rubbed the short strip of hair on his head. I put the pan down and walked over to him slowly.   
"Maybe?" He nodded and looked down at me with a serious face.   
"Well let me know when that's a definite yes eh? Do you want some breakfast?" He shook his head and I nodded. "You have to get to work soon huh?"   
"Oh, no not today, Chibs is covering for me, he told me to fix whatever was bothering you today and that you needed me more than TM. I felt my shoulders tense up and I just looked at the counter for a minute. "Did you wanna talk about it?"   
"We talked last night, well this morning I guess when I got home." I babbled "He saw me get upset at TM yesterday because you were being a dick and I kinda cried at him a little." _Stop fucking talking F/N!_ I mentally yelled at myself and then clamped my mouth shut.   
"So you do remember last night then?" I nodded and heard him take a deep breath. "Do you still feel the same?" I nodded again and he chuckled. "Ok, I'm gonna go get dressed then since being here half naked with you feels weird." I turned and looked at him.   
"We've been friends since we were 12 Juice, now it feels weird? I've seen all of what you got baby." I teased and his face dusted with pink.   
"It's a little different now." He muttered and I chuckled as he fled back to his room.   
"You're still my geeky, shy Juan Carlos! That won't change." I called after him and heard his muffled voice.   
"I am not shy! I just reserved in the company of other people!"   
"That totally validates both my points you geekily recited the definition of shy!" He groaned and came out of his room in the same basketball shorts, and a t-shirt.   
"Whatever, I can't believe this is even an issue right now."  
"It's not an issue, I love it." I smiled at him and he gave me a small smile back.   
"So can I ask you out on a date or do I have to call you first?"   
"Oh, um no I mean that's fine, you don't have to call. Um sure." I muttered and he laughed.   
"Now who's shy?" I gave him a look at tossed something at him, I realized it was an egg at the same time he did and he caught it, only for it to break in his hand. "Oh gross babe! C'mon." I busted up laughing at the disgusted look on his face.  
"I'm sorry! I didn't look at what I picked up!" I said between peals of laughter and he gave me a withering stare as he went to wash his hands.   
"I changed my mind, I don't think I wanna be with someone so mean." I frowned and walked over to wrap my arms around him from behind.   
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to egg you." I stood on my tippy toes and kissed the back of his neck. I smiled to myself when he shivered.   
"I guess that I can forgive you." I nodded against his back and went back over to the stove. "So a date?"   
"Yeah that'd be cool."   
"Great be ready at 5, I'm gonna go for a run, you wanna come?" I gave him a 'do I ever wanna fuckin run with you?' look and he just smiled and went to put his shoes on.  
  
  
I had stress cleaned all day and had been ready to go since 4 so I hid in my room until 5 because I didn't want him to know I was an anxiety ridden neurotic mess. _He already knows! That's why he isn't take you on a second date._ He knocked on my door at 5 exactly and I smiled as I went to open it.   
"Hi." He said as he looked me over. I was in some lightly distressed skinny boots, a flowey black floral print top, with a blue tank top under it and some black leather flat boots. My hair was in its natural curl and my makeup was soft.   
"Hi." I said and smiled at him. He was wearing black jeans, his black boots, and a dark gray button down with the sleeves rolled up.  
"You look beautiful." I smiled and felt my face heat up.  
"Um thank you, you look handsome." He smiled and backed out of my door way so that I could get out. He didn't grab his kutte when we walked by it so I paused and looked at it, running my finger down the side.   
"I didn't think you'd like it if I wore it tonight?"   
"Why not?"  
"Because I'm supposed to be Juan Carlos, not Juice the Son."  
I handed him his kutte. "They are the same person love. I've known that since you got patched in." He looked relieved and slid it on as we headed out. We got on his bike and he drove us a little ways out of town to _Mini golf?_ That made sense actually, we both drunkenly admitted that we liked to play shitty games like bowling, ping pong and mini golf but we'd never admit it sober. He went and got us clubs and a couple balls from the admissions castle. Yes it was a fucking castle and it was cool. He handed me the purple club and I smiled I loved purple.   
"Ladies first?" I asked him and motioned him towards the first hole. He rolled his eyes and gave me a look.   
"I'm a gentleman baby, I let my sugar mama go first." I laughed and went to try my luck. We both quickly realized that we were dangerous when we golfed and Juice vowed that he was wearing a cup the next time he even thought of letting my near a golf course. I laughed until his shot bounced off the edge of the wind mill and went straight for my face. I ducked and gave him an incredulous look.  
"I'm sorry! Stop trying to decapitate me!" He busted up laughing and sunk his ball in the mote. I got a hole in one and he was out of balls and I took that as a sign that I won. I ran and jumped on him cheering. "You were a worthy opponent mortal!" I said in my Thor voice and he wrapped his arms under my legs so I didn't fall as he walked over to his bike.   
"Thanks babe, I tried." He set me down and I kissed his cheek. We headed off to the second part of our date which was a movie, I told him to surprise me and just pick something so he did. He picked something called Orphan and let me tell you that 'little girl' Esther would be starring in my late night fear sequences for a while. Juice held my hand and let me hide in his shoulder when I got too excited, he didn't even laugh that much.  
"I-I don't think I'll be able to look at a child that I don't know the same way for a while." I told him and he laughed   
"I have to admit I didn't see that coming." I felt eyes on me and looked up at a group of men coming out of the theater. I nudged Juice and he looked up and handed me my helmet.   
"Lets go home baby." I nodded and slid on the bike behind him as they started to walk over. We took off and I heard a shout but he didn't stop. I laid my face against his back and gave him a gentle squeeze so he'd know I was ok. We got home and both paused, what happened now? I took off my helmet and handed it too him.   
"So... This was fun." I told him and he nodded.  
"It was indeed. We'll have to do it again." I nodded too and we both stopped at the door. I started to laugh and he looked confused.   
"W-we are so fucking awkward." I giggled and he started to smirk at me. He stepped closer and took my face in his hands.   
"I think I can fix that." I stopped laughing as he pressed his lips to mine.   
"That is one way to fix a problem." He nodded and I tilted my head to the side so he could kiss me again.


	3. Chapter 3

Juice and I had a really great few weeks together before life went to hell for the Sons. Juice was weary of anyone new these days and I didn't know why, his phone would ring and he would cringe until he knew who it was, and when people came over unannounced he was terrified to open the door. Juice told me that he would probably be going to jail but that I would be taken care of, then he disappeared for three days and came back with his neck bruised up.   
"What the fuck happened to you? What's wrong with your neck?" He gave me a cold look.   
"What does it look like? I tried to hang myself and the fucking branch broke." I jerked back like he had hit me.   
"Y-you tried to- Why? Where have you been baby?" I touched his arm and he jerked away from me.   
"Don't! Just stop it F/N I'm not a baby I'm a coward and I know that. I own that." I shook my head and walked over to hug him.   
"What happened babe? Talk to me?" I asked in a quiet tone. He shuddered out a breath.  
"The new sheriff has some information on me that will get me kicked out of the club, I got so scared and I fucked up I- I did a really bad thing and I have no idea how to fix it." He started to sob into my hair and I sighed.   
"Poor lost boy. It will be ok, but you have to _promise me_ that you won't try to do this again." I rubbed his neck gently.   
"I just couldn't see a-another way F/N. I don't know who I am without the club." I shook my head I was beginning to freak out. I almost _lost_ him. He tried to take himself away from me.   
"You do know. You're Juan Carlos just as much as you're Juice the Son and right now I'm not happy with either fucking one of you." He flinched and pulled back to look at me.   
"I'm so-"  
"No, you're not. You clearly must have thought a lot about this right?" He shook his head. "You just decided to take yourself away from me without thinking about it?"   
"I thought it was my last option!" he shouted at me and I flinched slightly, he never yelled at me.   
"Bullshit, you know that Jax and Chibs love you, you could've talked to them or to me even!" He scoffed and I glared at him. "Fuck you Juice. I love you and I would do anything for you and you just threw that in my face." I ran a hand through my hair and he sighed.   
"I didn't think-"  
"Clearly." I muttered and he slammed his fist into the wall behind me.   
"There are more important things to think about then what my old lady would like F/N! I hate to break it to you but you aren't the most important thing right now." He shouted at me and I looked him dead in the eye.   
"I'm not your old lady _Juice_ I'm not even a thing. I'm supposed to be your best friend, isn't that what you said. 'I'll come to you no matter what F/N your opinion is the only one that matters to me.' Remember that Juice?" I waited for him to pull his hand from the wall before I stepped away from him. "What was the ever important fact that the sheriff knew? What was bad enough to get you kicked out of your precious club?" He didn't answer so I nodded. "Right" I pointed at myself. "Not a member so I'm not important." I grabbed my bag and keys and headed toward the door.   
"Where are you going?" Juice called after me.  
"Doctor, I've been sick for like a week now." I said from the door.   
"What's wrong?" I scoffed.   
"So much,but nothing relevant to you clearly." I slammed the door and went to my car. I really did have a doctors appointment. I had been bleeding when it wasn't my period, my pelvis and lower abdomen hurt and felt pain when I went pee and I noticed some twinges when Juice and I had sex the last time. I figured that it was just a urinary tract infection and that the doctor would give me some antibiotics so I was scared when she wanted to take me to the hospital to run tests. I was waiting well pacing really in the little privacy room a few hours later when she came back in with a grim face.   
"Ms. L/N I think you should sit down." I grimaced and sat in front of her. "I'm sorry to tell you but our tests came back with some very disturbing news. You have uterine cancer. We don't know how bad yet but we do know that surgery will probably be required at some point and we would like to ask you to think about expediting that step."  
"Surgery?"  
"We think we will need to remove your uterus, ovaries, Fallopian tubes, and the adjacent lymph nodes if they are effected. That means-"  
"I wont be able to have kids?" She nodded and I just nodded faintly. "Can I talk to- well can I think about it?"  
"Of course, I just want to urge you to decide soon, we can do the procedure within a week or two if that is what you decide." I nodded and almost ripped the door off its hinges in my hurry to get out of that awful room. I ran outside and around the building to the parking lot before I collapsed and cried by my car. I pulled out my phone to call Juice but he didn't answer. I called Jax, and Chibs but they didn't answer either so I just got in my car and drove home. Juice wasn't there and part of me knew that I wouldn't see him again. I was right.  
  
  
' _Juan Carlos, If you are reading this then you are home and I am not. I know that we had a terrible fight that night and I know that I reacted poorly but I'm not sorry for that. I've loved you since I was 12 Juice and I will love you until I am 112 and knowing that you were willing to just throw that away out of fear hurt me. I know that this way of telling you sucks but I have to go I have quite a fight ahead of me and I don't think I can do that and not worry that you will come home in the middle of it I don't want you to see me like this. I was given some bad news at my doctors appointment that day and I don't know if I'll survive through surgery and the chemotherapy. My doctor thinks my chances are good, but so did my mothers and you saw what happened there. If I am gone when you read this know that I love you my lost boy, and I want you to be happy. That this is just a part of life and I am so glad that I got to know you Juice. I love you with all my heart and I hope that you find peace in the life of chaos that you've chosen for yourself. I moved out before I started my treatment and I told Chibs not to look for me, please don't tell him that I was sick when I saw him, it will break his heart and I love him to much to let him blame himself. Be well Juice, be happy and live your life like the wonderful man I know you are love. Don't be sad, Who knows I'll probably be fine and I'm just being overly morbid but I wanted to say goodbye to you just in case. So goodbye my love, remember that I know you are the best and brightest among the people in this world and that my heart will always be yours._  
  
I had made the decision to have the surgery, my doctor felt like it was my best chance at survival and I was recovering nicely. I had a lot of depression and had felt such sadness knowing that if I wanted to I wouldn't be able to have a child of my own, but I was getting better and the doctor put me on some medication to help with the depression. I was on my third and final round of radiation to make sure that the cancer was gone and then I was free except for routine check ups. My hair fell out but that was ok, It would grow back. It had been a few months since Gemma told me that Juice had been arrested and that he was going to be locked up for about six months. I made the choice to move out of his house and into one of my own on the other side of town, I also cut myself off from the club and got a different phone so Chibs wouldn't be able to track me down again. He had found me at the pharmacy and told me that Juice had asked for him to find me. He said that Juice wanted to see me and to tell me that he was sorry. I told him that I didn't want to be found and asked him to respect that, that Juice had nothing to be sorry for and to tell him that for me. He didn't understand why I wouldn't go see him but I wouldn't explain it, I couldn't tel him that when I had such a hard time believing it myself. I had made up my will yesterday and since Juice was the only family I had left I left him certain things but then requested that anything he didn't want be donated to the local homeless shelter.  
  
It had been eight months since I was diagnosed and I was cancer free. The doctor was optimistic that I would stay that way and was proud of how far I had come. I was still on the depression medication and she had added one for my anxiety as well but my hair has started growing back and I stopped crying whenever I saw a baby because I figured it wasn't meant to be. I was becoming ok with that, what I wasn't ok with was the hole in my chest where my heart used to live. I missed Juice and I often wondered if he missed me, if he had moved on. I didn't know if he had gotten released yet and I wasn't going to risk calling one of the Sons since they would track my phone. I was trying to adjust to the fact that I wouldn't see him again either but that pill was so much harder to swallow. After my mother died he had become the only person I had, he had taken me under his wing and showed me how to survive. We got our first tattoos together, gotten drunk for the first time together, lost our virginity with each other though we never spoke of that awful experience. He was my first everything and you can't just forget something like that. I just hoped that he had taken my letter to heart and was finding peace.


	4. Chapter 4

"What the fuck?!" I yelled as I stumbled out of bed, some asshole was pounding on my apartment door at- I looked that the clock 2, fucking 2 in the goddamn morning. I stormed to the door and flung it open, _Oh fuck!_ "Juice?" I breathed and he had the craziest eyes I had ever seen. "Wh-what are you doing here? I thought you were-"  
"What the fuck F/N?! A goddamn letter and all your fucking stuff gone? Are you fucking serious?!" He was _pissed_.   
"Did you just get out?" I asked since he was wearing what I saw him in last and his hair was longer then I had seen it since we were kids.  
"Fucking yes. You didn't answer my question!" He was yelling and I was trying not to smile at him. _He was here! I could touch him!_  
"I did what I thought was best, how did you find me anyway?" I knew no one had my phone number.   
"I threatened your lawyer, that doesn't matter." I gaped at him  
"You threatened an old man? Juice what the hell?!"   
"He's fucking fine, Focus for fucks sake." I went and hugged him and he stiffened before he wrapped his arms around me gently. It was like the fight went right out of him and I rubbed his back as he rubbed my short hair. "I missed you." He muttered. "I was scared that you were dead." I knew he was crying because I felt his tears fall on my shoulder.  
"I was scared too, that's why I had to say goodbye Juicy. I wanted you to know how I felt."   
"I love you too, and I have found peace again now that I have you. Don't you ever do that to me again." I nodded and he gave a watery chuckle. "I think my hair is longer than yours now."   
"I kinda like it." I ran a hand over my head and he nodded.   
"It's sexy." I laughed and rolled my eyes at him.   
"Wanna come in?" He nodded and I tugged him inside.   
"Is that my shirt?" He asked and I looked down and nodded.   
"I commandeered some of your clothes when I moved so that I would have you with me still. If you wanna take a shower I have stuff for you to wear." He nodded, picked me up and carried me to the shower.  
  
  
Juice spent the next few days at my house until he ran out of clothes to wear, he asked if I would move back home with him and I hesitated. I didn't want to saddle him down when I couldn't give him a family, and I might get sick again. I tried to find an excuse that wasn't that but he saw through me and told me to cut the bullshit. I tried to change the subject but he wouldn't let me do that either.  
"I can't have kids Juice, I might get sick again even though my doctor doesn't think I will, and I don't want you to be held back by me." He gave me the most hurt look I've ever seen and took my face in his hands.   
"You think that I care about any of that?" I just blinked at him. "I love you, I don't care if you can have kids or not, If you get sick I'll be there with you and if you ever say anything about holding me back again I think I'll have to spank you." I chuckled and he gave me a look. "I am not losing you again so if you want to stay here then I'll go grab some stuff and I'll be right back but I'm not being apart from you again."   
"I'll move back on one condition."   
"Name it."   
"We share your room." He fucking beamed and nodded.   
"Fuckin deal. That saves me having to move all your stuff slowly into my room." I chuckled and he tugged me back into my room. "Pack some stuff, I'll get the guys to come help me with the rest." I nodded and packed a backpack with clothes, toiletries and other stuff I knew I'd need. It felt right to be going back with Juice. I realized that home was anywhere he was but that his house made me feel the most comfortable. He seemed so happy and I was glad that he had found his peace again.  
  
***** **Six Months Later** *****  
  
Juice had told the club about the sheriff and they had told him he was a fuckin idiot for thinking that was a reason to get kicked out of the club, and I gave him an 'I told you so' look. Chibs took a long time to get over the fact that I hadn't told him that I was sick, he told me that he would have been there for me and I told him that I had to do it on my own. He understood but I knew that it hurt him since it had hurt me to do it. Juice and I were doing great. We adopted (Juice found at a dog fight) a beautiful pit bull. We named her Hope and she was the most wonderful dog, so loving, sweet, and she fucking thrived on the love we gave her. We got her registered as my therapy dog and I took her with me when I had to go out alone, she really was protective but not vicious with it and it comforted both Juice and I. I didn't regret my decision to move home with him, it felt right and I didn't regret saying yes when he asked me to marry him because that felt right too.


End file.
